Sunday, May 13, 2012
I have always found fascinating the freedom assumed by people when commenting on blogs, because few words could reveal big aspects of their personality. Even more interesting you is start finding common characteristics on each of the comments, creating a demographic group or categorisation of the commenters...
WARNING: if you are susceptible and might suspect that I am going to be indiscreet, please... stop reading now and assume this post never existed.
For instance, there is the buddy type of comment as the following:
"Duuuuuuuuude! [Small opinion about the current topic is inserted in here]. [Best wishes or small observation trying to be polite goes here] [Optionally their nickname]"
|Here is the dude... No idea what am I talking about? Get some pop culture first and then come back.|
This kind of comments usually comes from friends.
Note: ‘Dude’ could be replaced by an ‘hey’, ‘Hi’, ‘Mate’, ‘congrats’, ‘I am sorry that’, ‘I think that’ or ‘HAHAHAHA’ (depending on a painful experience shared on the blog), and it is totally optional.
You could also find the "I have never read your blog, but I want to ask something and don’t want my intervention to sound as a desperate way to get the info without reading heaps of your rambling" comment type as the following:
"Hello [blog author name here]! I have been reading your blog for a long time (undefined period of time is a must) but I have never written anything! Congratulations on [anything relevant on the current post]... I would like to get in contact with you and my email is [firstname.lastname@example.org]. Cheers!"
Some are straight on their interests by changing the last paragraph by "I have a question related to [topic of inquiry], could you send me the answer to my email?"
Note: they always... ALWAYS, will include their email account; that way they express their lack of interest on the blog; thus redirecting the conversation as further away as possible from it.
My blood heats up every time I found one of this in my blog... I mean seriously, if you don’t take the effort to read my posts, what makes you think that I want to waste more time writing something exclusively for you?
But then I come to my senses and end up writing a re-redirect comment with the link to the related blog post. I have met good people like this as well.
Another type of people is the fans (I was going to call them groupies, but to this day no one has offered me sex, so... no groupies for me) with comments as:
"Love your work... superb." Or
"Can’t wait to read your next post." Or
"Inspirational, live changing blog post about... polystyrene cups!" Or
"OMG! I never thought you could complete X, Y and Z so soon!... OMG! I will never change my underwear again... E.V.E.R A.G.A.I.N..."
And sometimes fan comments turns hilarious (and creepy) when they try to keep it cool:
“WOW, this post is F.A.N.T.A.S.T.I.C! That is fantastic!
... I mean... Great work!
I will be waiting your next post... Or not... whatever... is not like I am waiting for you to write anything...
Please write your next post soon...
(...I love you...)”
Then you have trolls with their lack of taste type of comments as:
“Oh... you got to see the full moon? You are not as moron as I thought...”
Or “Oh... you got the Canon 60D? That piece of rubbish is not as good as I thought... Is too difficult and that is why I love my iPhone... and Instagram.”
Or “so you think getting job offers in a country where no one knows you is achieving a personal goal? How nice...”
To all of you... I don't really care about your comments and will be deleted.
Finally, spammers presented in many flavours... these are the one I hate the most and I can’t wait two minutes to report and delete it.
You could find the hide hideous link inside comment type: "Interesting blog, I have found it very useful in australian-visa-link,-click-here-and-you-die.com" (is there any reason why 95% of this comments comes from India?)
You could find the hide sexual content in comment type: "Australia is a beautiful place with lots of sexy gals, had to use massive-boner-pills.com to keep up with ultra-slutty-girl-with-big-tits-and-infected-vagina.com!" (Again, is there any reason why 80% of this comments comes from the US?)
And you could find the subtle sex ads: "VIAGRA VIAGRA!!! BOOBS, TITS, BIG COCK, VIAGRA at clandestine-and-probably-illegal-viagra-provider.com" (50% of this comes from china and 30% of it from the US).
So... what type of commenter are you?